haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
