Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
time to smoke my breakfast
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
