the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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