So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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