Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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