Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
