She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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