too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
