The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
