It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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