she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize