the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
