Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
