she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
