What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
