And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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