is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
