Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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