Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
