I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
