I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
