My brain says no but my pants say off.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
