new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
