We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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