who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
