You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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