in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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