Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize