When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
