I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I will be naked everywhere
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
