we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
