I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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