Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
