Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
