Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I need water and some morals
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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