Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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