Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
