I accidentally had phone sex last night
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
