so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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