And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
