so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
