what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
How external is "for external use only"?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
