ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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