but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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