Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
