A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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