I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
