well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
