And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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