He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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