I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
